Halloween is officially in the books and Christmas is right around the corner. The crock pot is getting more use and I am finally getting to wear my knit hat when I leave the house versus brushing my hair on a regular basis. The air has gotten crisp, the leaves have fallen and the trees no longer protect my TV screen from the glare of the sun during the day. This alone has opened up a lot of time for me.
A new year is approaching and like most people, it often leaves me wondering two things. What have I accomplished this year? What would I like to accomplish next year?
Those are crickets you hear, by the way. Sure, as a family, we have had one hell of a year. As an individual though, I have been knee deep in survival mode and I am not happy with how I have used my time this year. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what to do instead of doing what I want to do.
What Do You Want To Do, Copper?
What an open ended question. I want to take a nap. Pierce my nose. Get a new tattoo. Read more books. Travel by myself.
I do spend a lot of time thinking about these things. Maybe I should do them. Yes, I will do them. I promise. But is that what I am really asking myself? No. I am an individual for the first time in a long time. Yes, I still am a mom. It is still a full time job. But there has been a change in the winds and I spend less and less energy on the survival of my kids. At this point, it is about love and food and shelter and less about butt wipes and keeping them from hurting themselves. Honestly if someone swallows a Lego at this point in time, it is kind of on them not me. Besides, they will be fine. It’s going to hurt in a day but lessons are painful sometimes.
But I digress…
I am finally someone other than “Mom” for a large portion of the day. I don’t know who to be now.
Writing Words and Stuff
Except that I think I do. I love doing this right here. I love writing. Never has it been a chore for me to sit here and type away. Not once. As I walk home every day from dropping the kids off, more often than not, my mind drifts to doing this.
I want to write in this blog more often. I would love to write for other websites. Most importantly, I think I would like to write a book. Or 20. It is crazy, I know. I most likely will have to self publish, which is hella scary because I don’t know what I am doing and it can be expensive. I know nothing about the process of writing a book. I am not even that good with getting the word thingies on the paper thingy. I don’t even know where to begin. And no one will likely buy it. I have a handful of friends that love me enough to read it but surely I am not so big of a dick that I would make them pay for their copy.
However, I am going to do it. I have nothing to lose but my time, money and dignity. Most of that went out the door with my kids already. So why not?
So…What’s The Problem?
For no less than 5 months, I have walked in the door, all ready for today to be the day. Unfortunately, the first room I pass is my laundry room. So I start a load of clothes. There’s the broom! I sweep up the sand in the hallway. I take the dustpan into the kitchen to dump it and then start on dishes. Pour myself a cup of coffee and while it is getting cold, I make the bed. I reheat it and talk myself into an episode of tv and some cross stitch while I drink it. 4 episodes later. the laundry still needs flipped and I am hungry. So lunch it is. By now the horrible decision to stay up late AGAIN the night before catches up with me and I take a snooze. Boom. My day is over.
The problem is, I am horrible at habits. Sure, I have all the bad habits down pat. Like my daily routine that I just described. Or my phone addiction. Or my collection of discarded socks by my spot on the couch. But good habits, like drink more water and get a good night sleep or be a productive member of society? Nope.
Creating Better Habits
Step one for me at this point is getting myself to the point of writing every day. I have known that for awhile but I was looking at a bigger picture, starting the book. I was overwhelmed by that. So, we are going to think smaller here.
It is November and in the writing community, that means NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, is here. It is simply a yearly challenge to create, to dedicate yourself to write 50,000 words to your novel in the month of November. One day at a time.
I love this idea and I wish I was in a place to participate this year but I am not. I need a little more work on me before I do. So, I have my own challenge. I am going to write a blog post every day in November. 400 words or more. They won’t all be winners. Prepare to hear about my ode to the grocery store. But I will publish them nevertheless.
Why November? Why 30 days? Because that is how long it takes for a habit to stick. 30 days of writing will put me either on the right track to start or tell me if I need to start even smaller. 30 days will give me time to organize other parts of my life so that I can dedicate my days to this. 30 days of blog writing will allow me talk myself in and out of this the obligatory five times before I finally decide to jump in.
Why Am I Telling You This?
Simply put, I don’t answer to myself very well but I don’t like to disappoint others. If I kept this a secret, I will fail. However, now you know and I can’t back down. Please tell others. The more, the merrier. I feed on peer pressure. Call me out if you don’t see a post by 9 pm. Tell me what you think. Give me writing prompts. Join me in the challenge to put your own thoughts out there. No pressure but you are now involved in my process. I could have warned you in the beginning but nah. Now you are stuck.
I will be forever grateful, maybe even mention your name in the book. Perhaps a free signed copy. When I am famous, I pinky swear to still know you in public. Just kidding, I probably won’t. It will be because I am shitty with names and socially awkward NOT because I am famous. But I will try.
So here it begins, in 5….4…3…2…1.